Link to Poetry Web Site

If you are looking for something to read in class on Wednesday, go here:


http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/p180-list.html

P.S. -- More found poems to come!

Found Poem by Kylie, Elliot, Lucy, and Sappho

Sometimes you gotta give in to win
There was sunshine after the atom bomb
now I'm nothing
I laugh and eat well
talking to myself again
each singing what belongs to her
I'm a kid and I'm not sorry
When the breeze penetrates these southside treees
In front of the toilet, hands and knees
I grow strong
When will you take off your clothes?
Every woman looks better in a sundress
Sunshine sunshine is fine
there was sunshine after the atom bomb

now I am nothing
I would keep this feeling in a plastic jar

In some future time I'll be talking
to myself again.
Sometimes you gotta give in to win.

Rubric for Short Story Final

	1: No evidence	2: Attempted but limited	3: Fair	4: Good	5: Excellent
Attention to plot development  Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution are all present. Logical sequence of events free of major plot holes or points of confusion.
Attention to character development Attempts have been made to make characters realistic and/or compelling. Thought put into dialogue and character interaction
Attention to setting Setting details create sense of place that accentuates the plot
Attention to themeAttempts have been made to convey a theme or main message that is interpretable by the reader.
Attention to style Word choice, sentence construction and variety and occasional use of figurative language all contribute to the dramatic feel of the plot/story.

Summary of Lucy's Story

Exposition: Wallace Greenman is a 24-year-old white male. Living a fairly normal life in Boston MA. Wallace lives on his own in a small apartment. A recent graduate of Boston University, he is an administrative assistant at Brooks & Pyle, a local publishing house.
Inciting incident: When grabbing the morning coffee, Wallace gets a phone call from his father. Since Mr. Saul Greenman left Wallace and his mom, Deidre when Wallace was twelve, this awkward conversation was one that came unexpectedly. As the only child in the Greenman line, Wallace inherited an egregious amount of money, the exact amount unnamed.

Rising Action: Shocked at the sudden appearance of his father back into his life and the tons of money, Wallace is overwhelmed. He considers himself a good guy – raised catholic, even though he doesn’t go to church anymore (it always felt kind of fake), he still gives money to homeless people and picked up trash on the street. Wallace makes a master list of things to do with the money – savings, donations and other things beneficial things to society.

Tempted by the power brought by money, Wallace throws a big party, “just this once…” Eventually, Wallace gets sucked in to the whirlwind of money and the things easily accessible because of it.

Climax: Waking up with a hangover two months later, Wallace can’t stop thinking about his old habit of _______. Finally he drags himself out of his cali-king bed and sends the women home. After checking his email, (or maybe turning on the news on TV) Wallace discovers that while he has been squandering his fortune, his father is millions in debt from embezzlement Wallace makes up his mind to help his father, because Wallace owed his dad for his inheritance.

Resolution: After cleaning up both himself and his penthouse, Wallace checks the account from which he has been constantly using his debit card. He has nothing left.

Denouement: The amount of money that Wallace spent on his four supercars would have been enough to get his dad out of debt.

Punctuating Dialogue

Hi guys,

If you are using dialogue in your story, you might want some tips on how to punctuate it correctly. Here is a link that should help:

http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/punctuate-dialogue.html

Ms. Mason

question

Ms. Mason, can we change the plot of our story from the one we thought of earlier? I kinda want to do something not like the Freytag Pyramid outline, but more like "memento" or something.

Plot summary - Ben S.

exposition: Two characters are sitting in a back-stage area of a small Music club/Cafe. They both are carrying instruments obviously getting ready for a performance on the stage in the main room. One character is holding a guitar, and the other is sitting next to various cases filled with drums. They begin chatting and complaining about when the other 2 members of the band are going to show up. Obviously irritated, the drummer decides to call their bass player.

Inciting incident: Right as the drummer picks up his phone to call the bass player, the guitarist's phone rings. He looks at the caller ID and see's that it is their bass player. The guitarist picks up the phone and prepares for the expected argument about why she is late. The bass player immediately starts apologizing, and seems truly in distress. We learn that she has just found out her uncle is very ill and had to rush to the hospital to check up on him, she says she is on her way but will arrive 25 minutes late. Right at that moment their second guitarist arrives.

Rising Action: We find out that this particular gig is extremely important to the band and they all need the money badly. They now have a choice between playing the first 25 minutes of a 3 hour set without a bass player, which will surely lower any credibility they might already have as a band but will still get them their pay for this gig, or they can wait the 25 minutes and see if they can convince the owner to push their time slot back. They have a heated discussion about this, and right then the owner of the club walks in. He asks them what is wrong, and says that people in the main room are complaining that they hear yelling noises coming from backstage. The owner tells the band that if they do not start within the first 25 minutes of their regular time slot they will not get paid, but if they wait any longer then he can't pay them. Right then they get a call from their bass player who tells them they have hit a traffic jam and they are going to try and take some back roads but will probably not be able to make the 25 minutes originally promised. One of the members goes out to get a drink and comes back to tell the band he saw a big-time record company executive out at the bar, he thinks that if they play well tonight they may have a chance at a record deal.

Climax: The band has to make the decision about whether they will be able to play or not. They decide that since they all really need the money they have to play this gig even if they don't get a record deal. The drummer in particular is very distressed about this, he needs the money the least out of the rest of the band and it has always been his dream to be part of a big time rock band. The group goes up on the stage, there is the usual cheers but they all notice the record company exec. is looking questioningly at the vacant bass amp. Right before the band leader steps up to the mic the drummer sees the bass player rush back-stage but the band leader doesn't see him. The drummer rushes forward but has issues getting around the drum set.

Resolution: After getting caught on various cords and rushing past instruments and amps he finally makes it to the leader right before he begins to talk to the crowd. Pointing out the bassist running up onto the stage, they both are relieved to realize they made it. They play a great show and are asked to play an on-chore.

Denouement: The record company exec comes up to them after the show and offers them a chance to come to the studio, record some demo's and then if they are good, sign a record deal, record an album, and go on tour. The band readily accepts.

Summary Plot of Pasang Wangmo (Esape for Freedon)

The Escape for Freedom

The Escape for Freedom is a story about this young Tibetan activist, name Tenzin Tekchoe who experienced the event when his country was conquered by the Communist China in 1959. Tenzin Tekchoe was born into a very rich family (Keruk) but when the Chinese invasion began in 1959, his family was distorted and left with nothing. Even the freedom to practice their precious religion, freedom of speech, media, freedom to trial are all taken away. So, he started to protest along with some other Tibetans through a method of non-violent approaches but he was arrested many times. Later, as the Chinese planned to arrest Tekchoe and kill him, he escaped Tibet to India by crossing the mountain region through the Himalayas. It took Tekchoe almost a month of walk to reach India. He searched for the Tibetan refugee center in India. He was very depressed and uneasy to even flashback on the haunting events in Tibet, so he thought he has to do something since he is free. After two years since he escaped, he got a visa to come to the United State as an asylum.As he got here in America, a lot of changes took place and many great things begin to happen…

Michael Rabin Summary

Jack, John and Ben are three best-friends growing up in the small town of Graeagle. They are all 16 years old and are good for nothing. All day they sit on the couch and complain how boring the town is. To entertain themselves they start to get into trouble and cause problems in their town. They do anything from stealing candy bars to abusing teenage girls. The parents of these boys are tired of the ways their sons are growing up. The parents feel like they have to do something or else the boys will live their life in jail. One of the parents spots an advertisement that was titled "Man-Camp." Later that day he went home and looked it up online. Man-Camp was a place that troubled teenage boys would go to learn how to become a strong, civilized man in the society. The parents of Jack, John and Ben eventually send them there after the boys continued their bad behavior. They arrive at Man-Camp and find themselves in the middle of the woods, where they meet their counselor named Mike. The parents had a brief meeting with Mike and he told them that in order for the boys to be here he would have to get their permission to use physical force on the boys. The parents had agreed to this and they were sent home.

Now the boys are getting settled into the camp when Mike comes and explains the rules. The boys have not yet started to take this seriously. They figured that they were just going to come here for 3 weeks and ignore this man the whole time, then their life would be the same when they got home. But it started getting serious when Ben got obnoxious. After a 'smart' remark Ben made to Mike he was knocked out on the floor. Then Mike leaves the room telling the boys that if they act like that then that will be them on the floor. And he tells them he will be back to get them at 5 am every morning. When Mike would come get the boys every morning they would go on an adventure, such as wrestling a pack of wild goblins and hiking through a field filled with angry rhinos. Something that was very challenging. The boys would learn how to trust and respect one another. Mike's goal is to change the personalities of these boys. He has three weeks to do so and is determined to send them home as courteous young men that will do good for their society.

Marissa: Freytag Pyramid Outline

Exposition: Set in an average high school, a teenage boy with a troubled home life is struggling with severe drug addiction to MDMA. He has lost interest in friends, family, school and is on a self destructive path. The only true friend he has is a girl, who, although almost his polar opposite, also feels like an outsider. She is only vaguely aware of the extent of the boy's drug problem. He secretly loves her and fearing her rejection tries to shield her from his troubled life.

Inciting Action: The boy goes up on a hill with some of his junkie friends and takes drugs. He mentally recalls past incidences of drug use and the first steps he took in becoming an addict, revealing internal feelings of self hatred. The reader glimpses his internal battle and fleeting desire to get clean.

Rising Action: While sitting in the subway, the boy is confronted by a figure from his past—an old friend before his drug dependency. Later in the evening the boy seeks out his drug dealer and gets severely beat up. Meanwhile, the principal of the school talks with the girl about the boy, requesting her help. Some time afterward, the boy and the principal talk.

Climax: The boy invites the girl to a casual party. He gets there first and is tempted into taking drugs by another junkie. The girl arrives and sees everything, now fully grasping the severity of the boy's dangerous habit.

Falling Action: She runs away from the party, her thoughts in turmoil. The boy follows her.

Resolution: The boy and the girl talk and are finally forced to confront the downward spiral he has fallen into. They express how they both care for one another and the girl explains how he doesn't have to fight his addiction alone.

Denouement: The boy crushes the drugs under his foot, signifying he will fight his addiction.

Trouble Shooting Blog Problems

2nd Period,

A lot  of you have mentioned that you're having trouble contributing to the blog. What I've noticed is that only 11 of you are contributors. To be able to post, you have to accept my invitation and sign in. If you haven't gotten an invitation, please email me and I'll resend it. If you have accepted my invitation and still can't post, it is probably because you are not signing in. Go to the upper right hand corner of the home page and click sign in. Once you have done that, you should be able to click new post. Hope this helps!

--Ms. Mason

John Layton's Story:

A young 14 year old boy named Wiley Miagiro has a somewhat unfriendly relationship with his older brother Kwan Miagiro, and ignominiously teases him occasionally as most brothers do. Kwan begins to feel sorrowful for the unproductive life he leads(Which is what Wiley teases him about amongst other things), and after a while he notices vicious satanic flashes of anger within himself. Pretty soon he snaps, turning his countenance into that of an exploding hawaiian volcano; He deals a skull-shattering blow to his younger sibling, easily knocking him out, dragging him away to the back of the car where he quickly punches the gas to get the hell out of town. Kwan takes Wiley to a secluded area behind the El Cerrito hills, where he in turn gets to extract vengeance for his shame, ignominiously. He does all sorts of things to his disowned brother and both begin to slowly loose their minds. (An important note in the story is Kwan assumes an alternate identity named Humu; Humu does not harm Wiley, they sit and talk about how they liked it before their parents remarried and that it should just be themselves and their father in the Miagiro family. Wiley soon finds such great relief in Humu's presence he strongly begins to feel the same way.) Meanwhile, the other members of the Miagiro family are worried sick for their children because they believe their children were kidnaped. However, one family member and Kwan's other step sibling, Johnny Deep Miagiro, knew what had happened. He knew that police involvement would deteriorate the situation, so he decides to take matters into his own hands; not telling his parents, he goes to Kwan's hut in the woods and attempts to calm Kwan down and to get him help. Kwan will have none of it and turns on his only friend Johnny and begins to torture him too. Now with the Miagiro family suspecting all of their children to be kidnapped and taken elsewhere, no one will find them, and no one will hear their screams. So, Johnny and Wiley have to find a way to escape. All they had was Johnny's candy bar and Wiley's bottle of prozac pills which he took for depression. Wiley curses Johnny and blames him for not calling the police, and calls him a waste of life. Kwan found the pills in Wiley's pocket and started to take the drugs. One afternoon he overdoses himself and Johnny and Wiley take advantage of this and convince him the hut was burning down and that they must act quickly or he will no longer have anyone to torture. so he quickly unlocks the shackles on his two brothers; Wiley immediately sits on him, crushing him beneath 3 cheeseburgers a day. Johnny is able to escape and get help. The story ends with Humu alone behind bars with his brothers visiting him; Humu was telling Johnny he thought he was a good friend and he stops in mid-sentence to check from behind the bulletproof window to assure the room was free of spectators, and Johnny Deep finds a cold steel blade in his back, the last thing he sees is the sadistic expression on Kwan's face from behind the impassable wall of glass.

Plot Summary ClareDavis

The story opens in a very white space, not quite reality and not quite a dream. You come to realize that Bren, a young boy of 8 or 9, has been hit by a car and is in a coma. Bren searches his subconscious for answers to his questions like: "Where am I? Why am I here?" He physically walks around in his mind trying to find an exit.
He starts to realize that he was hit by a car, memories begin to come back. He now asks questions like: "Who hit me? Why did they hit me?" All the while he searches for an escape from this subconscious wasteland. The last thing he can remember is his sister obnoxiously humming "Here comes the Sun". He remembers that she was trying immensely hard to annoy him while he was playing ball in the middle of the street like the boys in his neighborhood did every Saturday.
Bren turns around a corner and finds the man who hit him. The man explains that he was driving down a residential street and was not paying attention to the children playing in the road. The man tells Bren that he's devastated. He feels more than awful and that the experience has changed his whole life. Bren accepts his apology and the man disappears. Even then, he can't seem to escape.
He thinks about his life before this ordeal. He remembers playing alone on the playground. He remembers coming home to find his parents fighting while his sisters pretend not to notice.
His vision de-fogs slightly and he can see his parents and his sisters in the hospital waiting room all hugging and crying. He never knew they cared at all for him. He thought they might be better off without him. But now that he sees them and the reality of how much they actually care, he gains strength. A door appears in front of him in the fog. He unlatches it and walks through. "Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo, here comes the sun, and I say, it's alright..." can be heard softly in the distance.


-Clare Davis

short story proposal

1. Tirone is a young kid who lives in some gehtto place. he is living in a very violet neihborhood and will soon need to join a gang called the yifa team. they are a cruel and tough gang that he will work with to try and earn enough money and power to help his family. they have had problems with that gang and are very poor. he wants to try and steer the gang away from his home life and make money, but along the way he develops a taste for evil. he begins to enjoy the killing and raping.

2. the characters are Tirone and his friend Lupe. tirone is a seemingly good kid on the surface, but as the story develops we start to see th darker side of him. His freind Lupe is one of the gang members who is new like him. he is shy and timid. he is the one who suffers form being soft in gang life while Tirone flourishes.

3. The setting is in some ghetto place that i have not named yet. but it is very rundown. the houses are small and in poor condition, while there is violence everywhere. this setting is going to be one of the reasons for Tirone joining the Yifa Team.

4. This story is an action drama i guess, its violent and would prob be in the category transformation in the 20 master plots. there are many changes the main character goes through and for the not so important ones as well.

Ms. Mason's Class Period 2: Jack Robinson Story

Description of Plot

Exposition: Two characters Tom (T squared) Taylor and Dave (Walshy) Walsh have low incomes and decide to rob a bank with a group of people. It is set during the summer time in a run down neighborhood. Walshy is rash and quick to decide things while T squared is more calculated and methodical. The story starts as they are getting out of a car and running into a motel room in a run down area with a bag containing a lot of cash.

Inciting incident: They turn on the TV and realize that the rest of their group who they robbed a bank with got caught and is going into custody from a news flash.

Rising Action: The two men have to decide whether or not they should continue on with the original plan which was to wait it out at the motel for everything to die down or whether they should make a run for it. Dave convinces Tom that they should run for it in their car.

Climax: The men are making their way out of town when they run into a police checkpoint.

Resolution: They decide to floor it to the side of the checkpoint and go off a jump. The men get stuck in a big field of mud and they make a run for it as the cops chase after them.

Denouement: The men are brought into custody after being caught.

Plot Summary

haven't thought of names for the characters yet so it might be hard to read. :/ sorry bout that! and I hope we didn't have to do the Freytag model on the blog too...

A girl who has grown up sheltered and innocent is jolted from this reality when she finds herself in a hospital after being shot by a gunman. The gunman had also shot and killed her parents, yet she miraculously survives. While she has yet to accept reality she is faced with even more problems when lawyers come to settle the will and other complications. She finds out that her parents were in debt for an unclear reason and so the house is sold to compensate. In the meantime the girl is sent to her neighbor's house to live until the situation is cleared up. Her childhood friend does his best to support her and take care of her since the neighbor is rude and takes advantage of the situation, however there is only so much he can do since he lives farther away and can only see her at school. The stress becomes too much and the girl feels like there is no escape from her situation and must drop out of high school to find a job and possibly find her own way in life. Her view of the world has changed drastically so that her once strong, happy spirit is almost lost. Just as she is about to leave she looks through her family album one more time and finds money in between each of her birthday photos. It becomes clear with each picture that her parents wished to send her to college with this money. She stays in school and moves in with her friend after the legal documents are settled.

=_=

Exposition: Bob is an outstanding baseball player in a high school baseball league. However, Bob has an extremely large head which makes him look very ugly. Furthermore, he is always overlooked because everyone only pays attention to the flashiest and most accomplished player in the league, Billy. Billy is extremely cocky and always talks trash to Bob. Now Bob and Billy meet in the championship game. Being the underdog, Bob is determined to prove himself as the best player in the league.

Inciting Incident: In a earlier game where Bob's team and Billy's team face off, Bob strikes out awfully against Billy for the final out. After that game, Billy constantly insults and humiliates Bob.

Rising Action: There are two outs in the last inning of a tie game with runners on second and third base. Billy shouts insults at Bob while Bob is striding up to the plate. Billy's insults trigger a chain reaction and the crowd starts to make fun of Bob's oversized head.

Climax: There is a legendary at-bat and the count is full. Billy throws a good pitch and Bob hits a sharp line drive right back at Billy.

Resolution: The ball hits billy square in the dome piece. Billy lays on the pitcher's mound with a huge bump swelling on his forehead as Bob's team wins the game.

Denouement: Billy loses his reputation and people begin to call him fathead.

Update to Spring Break Homework and Short Story Proposals

Hello Period 2,

Only two more days until Spring Break and a week of freedom! I have adjusted the dates for your short story proposals as follows:

Post plot summary to this blog: Recommended by 4/17; mandatory by 4/20
Comment on at least two posts: Mandatory by 4/20
Full proposals turned in to me in hard copy form: mandatory by 4/20


For complete instructions, click on the "Short Story Proposals" page on the side bar.

--Ms. Mason

Welcome to Ms. Mason's 2nd Period Blog

Welcome all!

We will be using this blog to share our writing and our thoughts on the texts we read in class. Over spring break, you will write a detailed proposal for your short story. In the coming days, I'll give you instructions as to how to write that proposal and how to share it here. More to come!

Ms. Mason